Fear Is A Choice

     What do you fear? Think long and hard. Come up with something that truly terrifies you.

     You are choosing to be afraid of it. You can argue all you want, but being afraid is a choice. Yes, it is a natural action. Yes, it is a reflex to danger. Yes, it can be controlled. You laugh at me, don't you, dear reader?

     Let's take an example fear... Being afraid of the dark. I used to be afraid of the dark. My parents didn't know this, but I used to be freaking terrified of it. I tried everything to get rid of this fear. I tried tensing my mind up, trying to block it out. I tried standing in the dark for long periods. None of it worked, and I was scared of the dark for far longer than I am going to admit to the public.

     Fear is a choice, even if it's a subconcious one. Once I realized this, I was able to overcome my fear very easily. I accepted my fear. You cannot overpower fear, it is a foe much stronger than you. When it washes over you, tensing your mind to resist will leave you paralyzed. Instead? Relax into it.

     I'm not spouting any zen crap here, what I'm saying is that you have to find peace with the fear you have(which you should note, is a lot easier as a Christian). The way that I did this was imagining the worst possible thing that could come to back my fear. Being a writer with a fantastic imagination, this conjured a gang of five clowns with large knives some pretty horrible images of what waited for me in the dark. Then, I allowed myself to imagine those fears taking place... A hidden monster killing me, falling down an unseen hole, having my throat slit from behind.

     The fear was unbelievable. Until I shrugged and said: "Well, can't do anything about it."

     When you accept that you are powerless against fear, it loses its power over you. It's like swimming. If you kick and flail and struggle, you're going to sink lower and lower and lower. But if you take nice, deep breaths and relax... You float.

      So the next time you're afraid, acknowledge your fear, acknowledge you can't do jack about it, and move along. It might just help you.

In Probably Not the Most Derogatory Term We Use: Resolutioners

Resolutioners. Yes, you. The ones who jumped onto a gym membership the moment the New Year rolled around.

STOP CURLING IN MY SQUAT RACK IF YOU WANT YOUR HEAD TO REMAIN ATTACHED TO YOUR BODY!

Sorry, I've been holding that in since January 1st.

I have absolutely nothing against wanting to better yourself, to drop fat, to gain muscle, to get stronger, to get better conditioned, etc. I fully support this and anyone who truly wants to accomplish any one of those goals. One of those goals will support all the others if you actually focus on it, but we're not going to cover that here.

Resolutioners have one trait in common--most of them, at least--they disappear sometime between February 1st and March 1st. For some reason, they stop coming to the gym. They're on a contract and they still pay 40-80 a month, but they don't show up.

Now, I have no problem with an empty gym--I get to use the power cage more--but I do have a problem when people can't legitimately pursue a better them. I think that it is one of the manifestations of the general attituge of American society. It's a microwave attitude. A 'six-pack abs in 6 weeks' attitude. A 'vote for the guy that gives out the most free stuff' attitude. It's a disgusting attitude.

I'm not going to blame just the people themselves for having that attitude. No, the media is also to blame. Just watch a few late-night infomercials for fitness products. P90X. A 90-day program. Similar products dot the channels, all promising to deliver in 8 weeks, or 12, or 6. You get the idea. If I were to sit someone down, look them in the eyes, and say: "Building a body you can truly be proud of takes 2-5 years of straining under a heavy barbell and eating like you were made to eat" most people would display an astonishing 40 time as they ran for their room to cry in a corner.

People have no sense of commitment. People don't understand that great things take time. People don't understand that the kid in the gym benching 315 probably didn't start lifting 90 days ago. Yeah, a 12-week cycle of Smolov can bump your bench or squat up 50 pounds, but that's what we call 'peak strength' and is easily lost. If that confuses you, just Google it and stop being confused. Most people require a year or more of serious training(read: Starting Strength to Texas Method to 5/3/1) to reach a bench number like 315.

Yet you look at all these people coming in the gym on New Years, and they seem to think they can sculpt the body they want in a few months. It saddens me. What saddens me even more is that when I approach someone and tell them they might be better purposed by getting under the barbell, some sorry excuse such as: "squats screw up your knees" or "deadlifts are bad for your back" is given.

Overall, the attitude towards physical fitness is rather disapointing... People belive that it's an option. Sure, it is nowadays. But the human body was made to do amazing things. It wasn't made to grow a gut the size of Montana. I apologize if that offends someone, but seriously. Don't make it a resolution. Make it a lifestyle.

Now go forth and lift something heavy.

Plot and Character, the Two Great Variables

When you are writing, there are--at the most basic level--two variables in your story. The flow of the plot, and the characters. The plot is that thread you weave throughout the pages of your book, you twist you turn, you knot it into a brilliant tapestry that leaves yoru readers guessing at every turn. The plot is what keeps your reader up at night, what keeps them wanting to know what happens next, and apparently what gets you fangirls. That last bit is just personal experience.

A lot of writers can come up with a halfway decent plot without much trouble. Just throw a few dragons in there, a betrayed brother, an assassination attempt, and a feuding set of countries and you're good. What these writers--and I was one of them for a long time--fail to realize is that plot will not drawn in without character. Yes, it can be fascinating, but if you have bland caharacters, there is no substance.

Ultimately, we pick up a book and read a slice of a character or multiple character's life. The book may be about a civil war between two halves of the elven nation, but it has to be viewed through someone's eyes. And if that person is uninteresting, so will be the story.

What I'm saying is that any plot is uninteresting without interesting characters.

On the flip side of the coin, interesting characters without any significant plot will typically just meander. They'll have interesting dialog and perhaps a few exciting incidents, but there will be nothing driving you forward. An excellent example of this can come from TV shows. I'm assuming I'm going to be somewhat hated for this, but please... This is my blog. Shut up.

NCIS is a character based show. There are occasionally over-arcing plots that pull you forward and make you want to watch the next episode, but they are not going on the entire show. NCIS has some pretty awesome character interaction, but at least for me, the stickyness--or long-term viewer retaining--is low. Now, let's take a look at a plot driven show, one of my favorites: 24. Good characters, but there are certainly shows with better ones. Yet, sit someone down to watch two episodes and they suddenly can't wait for the next two. It's like TV crack.

I use 24 because it provides a perfect example of what a good plot requires: a ticking time bomb. Not necessarily a real one like in 24, but something that the hero(es) has to race against to 'win' or to save the day. It could be an actual bomb, an invading army, a political plot, etc. The point is that there have to be clear stakes. Furthermore, the stakes need to threaten death. And again, this does not neccessarily have to be literal. It could be physical death, but it could also be the death of relationship, the death of a job, etc.

The point here is that a good book needs good characters--one(s) who's personalities and personal issues are very clearly defined--and a good plot--one that threatens death and gives the hero(es) a deadline. Lean two much towards having only one of those and your book might start to suck.

My Recent Addiction

     Swing dancing. I've always loved it. But over the past month, I've really become addicted to it. I don't have a partner to practice with every day like one of my lucky friends--you know who you are--does, but swing dancing is on my mind a lot these days.

     I plan to swing dance a lot in 2013.

     I plan to do a lot of stuff in 2013. I plan to write. I plan to dance, and I plan to lift. I plan to go to college.  plan to get a tattoo. I plan to weigh 200 pounds. I plan to score a lead in the spring play.

     To be honest, 2012 was not a good year. There were a lot of things that were messed up. A lot of things I saw burn, a lot of things I let go of. Towards the end I wasn't in a good spot. But that's changed now. The night was darkest before the dawn... I can see that dawn now.

     It's not the dawn I expected it to be, but let's be honest... is it ever?

Short Stories With Matt

     So I'm going to undertake a side quest in my epic journey towards publication. Don't worry, Alduin, I'll still slay you, I'm just going to take some time to help out this poor guard who took an arrow to the knee five years ago. Skyrim reference. Move along, move along.

     I'm going to write some short stories. These will be related to the main story of my books. They will enhance your understanding of events, but they will not be necessary to understanding the plot. I'm not going to cause Continuity Lockout, at least, I hope not.

     These stories will center around a few characters, some of whom surface in the main books, some of whom do not. The story will be centered around events mentioned in the book, namely the war in Benfor, and the Wilderness War between the Pathkeepers and the Karad.

     Yes, I'm name dropping to get you a little curious about what happens in my books.

     I'm going to be working on outline work for these stories for now, so you can expect an update on that around Thanksgiving time. Each short story will be about 10,000-30,000 words. I hope they'll be something you can enjoy reading.

That Girl, or, Why I Wasted a Year of My Life and You Don't Have To

     Listen up, it's past midnight, and so I'm liable to talk a little crazy. I've been ruminating over details of my life, and I realized for the first time ever that there is actually something I regret doing.

     Everything you do creates a path that leads you to this moment in time, that makes you who you are today. If you like who you are today, that's a good thing. And I do like who I am today. But there is a very large event in my not-too-distant past that I have taken issue with as of late.

     If you're just starting high school, and have any sort of romantic leanings, let me explain something to you. Sometime over the next four-ish years, you are going to meet an absolutely amazing girl(or guy). It will be love at first sight, and when you actually do summon the balls to ask them out, you will fall head-over-heels for them. 'I love you' will be said far, far, far too early into the relationship. You will get wrapped up in each other. You will be convinced that they are 'the one'.

     You're throwing your life away, your prime years. Run as far away from that person as you can, they are trouble for you. 'The one' does not exist. 'The one' is a delusional fantasy created so that you would bind yourself to a person and become dangerously co-dependent upon them. If you get in a relationship with That Girl, you are going to waste over a year of high school. For me, it was most of my junior year and the very start of my senior year.

     That Girl was bad for me. I couldn't see it because I was so 'in love' with her, but because of her, I allowed my talents and my gifts to stagnate for almost one full year.

     The worst part? From the beginning of the relationship, I heard God tell me to leave her, to break up with her. I heard God say that he had something better. I now know that my foolishness ruined a year of my life. Yeah, I had one heck of a dopamine and oxytocin high, but I allowed this girl to wrap me around her finger, I allowed her to take my focus from God and the use of my talents.

     I sit here and realize I threw a year of the time I was supposed to use to prepare for life straight into the trashcan.

     Don't do that. Long-term relationships have no place in high school. Period. High school years are supposed to be a term of preparation for the real world, not a time to prance around and play house with some chick or some dude who makes you feel fuzzy inside. Grow up.

     Furthermore: high school ruins things. Suppose you do meet someone you are insanely compatible with, shares your faith, and wants the same number of kids you do(ladies, I want none, keep that in mind when trying to get my attention); do you really want to have to endure high school together? If there's one thing that being a minor, having a job that barely pays a thousand a month, and having a buttload of schoolwork to do relationships, it's ruin them. This is only magnified by the fact that most people don't even know who they are yet.

     Young relationships are not a bad thing. Far from it. The Bible is constantly saying 'the wife of your youth'. And youth back then was really young. But if you just look at that phrase, you're missing another point, another key verse. Genesis 2:24- "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." Hey, guess what? You can't leave your father and mother in high school, you nimrod.

     "But, Matt," you say. "I'm so in love I feel sparkles in my happy place when she/he's around."

     If you're a guy, come a little closer so I can smack you across the face. Love is not a feeling. Get that through your head! Attraction is a feeling. Infatuation is a feeling. Love is the highest commitment to a person that you will place their needs and desires above yours, even unto the ending of your own life. Again, read Genesis 2:24. That's God's description of how dating is supposed to go. Are you a Christian? Are you in high school? Are you in a high school relationship? You're sinning. Get out of that relationship and stop screwing around with your life.

     It's called tough love, deal with it. Stop crying and get over yourself, you'll be a better person for it.

This random late-night post has been brought to you by Monster, the unofficial drink of writers everywhere.

Light

     Light pricked the darkness.

     No legend knows how long that single spot of light shined out of nowhere, no legend tells whether it was bright or whether it was dim.

     The light vanished, for a time. The darkness that had become worlds continued to exist, unsettled by the existence of the light, for the light was a sign of life—that which the darkness had outlasted, that which the darkness had destroyed. The darkness continued to wait, swirling on itself, violent in its stillness.

     Light shone again, this time brighter. As the universe spirals downwards, so it must begin again once it has reached bottom. The darkness shuddered as the light continued to shine brighter and brighter until almost nothing existed save the light.

     The light vanished still again.

     The darkness was disturbed now. It knew that its existence wasn’t forever, that an end to void would soon come. The darkness could do nothing but wait, tensed to smother the light. The darkness heard, as no ear had heard in many thousands of ages, a sound. The sound of a single word, spoken against the void of chaos. In tongues of ages past, that word was known as “death”.

     And so the darkness died, its place now taken by eternal light. Unending, blinding, the light became the universe, shone until nothing save the purest white existed. Energy pulsed in the light, radiating in all directions from everywhere and nowhere at once. Infinite light in every part of the universe. Where once had been the Earth, there was light, where once had been Orion’s Belt, there was light. Black holes that had been swallowed by the darkness were now replaced with the energy of light. Light was all that existed.

     

It was from here that the universe would yet again begin a downward spiral.