Life has, over the past month, whiplashed me so hard I'm still not certain which way is up and which way is down. Come to think of it, maybe I wasn't certain of it to begin with. All I know is that despite how quickly things turned around and left me confused, they turned around for the better. All the messed up events of senior year are done, and what I've been thrown out into is pretty darn good.
Something that I thought was burned to the ground has been resurrected. Never assume. Or do. I'm still not certain which. But never give up hope. Hope is important. Without hope, I would have danced on the ashes of that which had burnt and scattered them so far they never could have returned and had new life.
Actually, that's a bit of a lie. I did lose hope, at least for a little bit. A snake whispered in my ear to do unspeakable things in honor of the new ash pile. And I nearly succumbed. But I didn't. I'm so glad that when I plunged to the depths and attempted to unleash my dark side, I found that someone was calling my name to bring me back.
I did go to a very dark place for a while. I wanted revenge. I wanted to feel good. I wanted to give into the darker me. But I can't. I couldn't. All my life I've been the nice guy, and guess what? That's apparently not a facade. Apparently that's actually who I am.
And so I just sort of waited. I stared at the ashes for a while. Poked them. Looked for something in them, perhaps a trinket that had remained untouched by the fire. Blamed myself for what happened. Blamed the other person for it. Blamed the both of us. Blamed fate. Blamed life. Resolved not to blame anyone. Stared at it for a while longer.
And then one cold night, I was offered warmth. I questioned it. I asked about it. What I found made my heart skip a beat. When nighttime closes in and all shiver to keep warm, a blanket offered is a sign of friendship dearly hoped for. I wanted to accept that offer. But it was not the right time that cover to be shared. Not just yet. Not then.
And I still waited. Hope had now again found it's way into my heart. Something had begun to be built over the ashes. And I would not sit idly by and let my friend build it on their own. I knelt beside them and began to move pieces to their places, the two of us still separate, but now working together. Yet this wouldn't do. We couldn't do it this way.
I turned and looked my friend in the eye and said: "Let's build this together. Anew. The ashes forgotten."
I was overjoyed when they said yes. The reasons they had for building now satisfied me. We would build together. The past was the past. And the future...
Well, they always do say that the best is yet to come.
